Word of Mouse

In these days of unknown danger lurking outside your home such as undetected terrorist activity in a public place, getting struck by a bus on the way to work, or even spontaneous internal combustion from viewing the London 2012 Olympic Logo, it seems that the life of an Agoraphobic is tre chic these days. Take for instance Humberto Hernancez who was killed after being struck by a flying fire hydrant.

Poor Humberto Hernandez was an unlucky schmuck who, had he been a proper agoraphobic, should have remained in his safe home last Thursday. Unbeknownst to him of his fate that morning, he left his apartment and strolled around his Oakland neighborhod, perhaps in search of acquiring a nice warm Elephant Ear to nibble with his wife. Just before the accident, according to the Oakland Tribune, he lavished his wife with flowers and cherries, perhaps hoping to get lucky that evening.

But a 45-year old driver of an SUV eternally redirected Mr. Hernandez’s plans when she struck a corner fire hydrant after her tire blew out. The fire hydrant hurled forward like a bullet from the impact of the SUV and the sudden release of potential energy of pressurized water.

The 200 pound red fire hydrant struck Mr. Hernandez in the head from behind ending his hopes of getting lucky in bed and lucky in a new life in the United States.

I think now I will prefer to remain indoors and continue making my living blogging on the internet. It is much safer. I can purchase all the items I need from the World Wide Web, and even have groceries delivered to my door. Why would I go outside and face the real threat of hurled hydrants when I’ve got everything I need at the click of a mouse?

Let’s just hope I don’t slip on the soap in the shower….

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